KEYS TO GOOD COMMUNICATION IN COUPLE: WHAT DO WOMEN WANT? 75
He: I do not know what the girls want. I do not know how to talk to them.
Ella: Talking to girls is easy. They tell you everything. You just have to listen.
Phrases heard in a movie. These are real as life itself, as topical as the phrase that I just wrote. It is not a matter of trying to find out what the woman wants, by sticking blind, but rather by sharpening a meaning that man often numbs: hearing, listening . It is easy but it requires attention, focus, effort. Sometimes we take too many detours around things that are absolutely simple. The human being has the brutal ability to twist everything, to give a thousand twists to things until they get complicated in an unheard of way. In that, women are teachers. By the way, do you know whether your partner likes what all you do for them?
Let’s try to go back to the simplicity of asking-listening-responding. In this chain there is no place for “what he wanted to say”, “in reality that is not what he wants”, “maybe I have misunderstood”. NOOO! We are not in the other person’s head! Let’s try to be clear, concise …
1. Be as sincere as possible. This means that you have to try to be clear with what you want. It is not a matter of becoming sincerity personified, but trying not to hide what you feel, or put in the other the responsibility of having to find out what you want . If you are clear in your approach, it will be easier for him to understand you and give you what you need. I want “x”; I would have liked you to do “this in such a way”; I’d love to try “this like that”; etc.
2. Do not take anything for granted. In the chain ask-listen-respond are involved: the request of something that is wanted, your listening and your response to what they are asking you. In that process we must try to clean everything that comes from outside, everything we think the other person is trying to say. You have to be clean and concrete. This is: sweep trash and focus on what is asked (has been very clear point 1. right ? The woman poses real, direct, without straw .. ) Then the man ( who has listened to top ) focuses on what she has asked for No more frills …
If the contracting party of the first part (ie: SHE) is clear , and the contracting party of the second part (ie: HE) listens carefully, this will inevitably lead to understanding (YES!!!) … AND We will have subtracted many hours of absurd battles that the only thing they do is undermine the relationship and take away hours of enjoyment and love from the good. So … Let’s go for it!