DOES YOUR PARTNER LOVE WHAT ALL YOU DO FOR THEM?
Mails and more mails flood my email, with questions that I can not answer, of the type: How to know if my boy likes what I do to him , what can be happening to my partner , how to give him the maximum pleasure without even asking him directly, etc.
In spite of being questions whose answer is not in my hand, I usually tie the blanket to my head and I answer, re-asking: Have you talked to your partner? Have you ever asked him what he feels, what he needs, what he would like to change, if there is something that bothers him ? In short: Have you commented your concerns? Moreover, do you know that change of roles can improve your sex experiences?
Have You Discussed Your Concerns?
The vast majority of the time, I have a “NO” answer: I have not asked . Pudor, fear of disappointing the couple or the uncertainty of how he will react to such intimate questions, makes us retreat into something as vital, essential and necessary as it is to communicate. Without good communication there can not be a good relationship.
We all want to be great lovers, satisfy the other person to the fullest, reach the maximum connection … But how do we intend to achieve it, if we do not talk?
It is useless to practice the most fabulous fellatio on the planet, if it turns out that your partner is a practice that you do not like. Have you asked? or, even: have you “noticed” something? Almost certainly, his attitude says it all. Why do not you delve into it and tackle it?
Why do you insist on getting your girl to have an orgasm at all costs with a certain position, if that position does not favor rubbing with her clitoris and she does not achieve it that way? Why do not you ask what you prefer? And, equally, why does not she dare to say it?
Talk with Your Partner
If we work full attention that requires a sexual encounter, you will realize that what is not spoken is more than evident and, if you listen, even the silences speak loudly. Yes, that which you perceive, it is convenient to speak it. Open up.
It is clear that at the beginning it can cost, that it can be very embarrassing, but it is also true that after that first haul, you can enter into a higher plane of the relationship, which consists of opening the floodgates and giving yourself to another with authenticity . That is the key.
Say what you want, what you do not like, what you want to change, what you would like to try. Speak with love and respect and mark with touches of humor everything that seems too serious . Sexuality should not be serious, just the opposite. We tend to dramatize too much everything related to our sex.
The fact is that, we undress in front of another person, we practice the most intimate and sacred act that can be practiced and, in a strange way, blocks us the simple act of talking about it.
If your partner cooks a dish that does not convince you over and over again, the same ingredients, the same way of doing it … Do you mean not to tell him that you do not like cheese? Do not you put salt in a bland stew? Do you eat something you detest, repeatedly, without question? Almost certainly not.
However, when it comes to sex, we have the astonishing facility of hiding our feelings and preferences without blinking, thereby making a big mistake.
Open and express. And accept the bad and the good that you can get out of there. You will always grow, you will always learn . Maybe you do not listen to what you want to hear at first, but it is much more interesting to improve after a disappointment than to settle in the mediocrity of ignorance.
There are many nuances, many ways of doing, many ways of approaching the same practice. My favorite philologist says that “about tastes there is way written”, and it is true. Each person feels and lives things differently. Many ways of living sexuality or wanting to live it. Teach your partner, guide their steps, ask their needs. It is the way to reach a delicious point of intimacy.
From the modesty of the beginning to the wonderful strength of being able to tell your partner what you want, with humor and a spicy little dot … Is not it worth it?